one more insult

one more from the insult verse category.... this time not really aimed at anyone in particular...

Unsent letter to the office whore

Your punctuality my dear
Has to be seen to be believed
Exactly two hours late every day
Is a talent not easily conceived

Of course I do understand
Squeezing into clothes three sizes small
Can be an ordeal for you
Do you use that gym membership at all?

I know little about military matters
But a little treadmill action
Might improve those ill-concealed
Weapons of mass seduction

You do of course get your exercise - verbally
Those cigarettes you puff all day
That give you that charming asthmatic cough
Not that in a conversation you have much to say

Except for that delightful Hyena laugh
That can curdle blood
Or any other liquid. No wonder
There's dahi every day in the canteen food

I have to admit though
You are a modern liberated woman
I applaud how you never wear a bra
Why submit to that male subjugation

I could call your career a rudderless
Boat adrift but with your admiring cohorts
On second thought its a tramp steamer
That calls on most lewd sailor's ports

I could cut loose and call you
A bitch, a slut, a whore
If only your best friend didn't
Already call you by these and more

I intended to add these things -
The way the sides of your mouth
Crinkle up when you smile
Naturally instead of fakely pout

The way the sunlight caught
Your hair this morning
That suits you better than the make up
You always insist on adorning

Or the way you show genuine concern
For the abandoned pup across the street
And ignore a human being
Lying unnoticed at your feet

But these are better left
For another poem, another time
Its a poor sort of rant or curse that
Turns bitterness into a confessionary rhyme